In this article we share one way of using the power of words to increase motivation and reduce feelings of struggle.
When we are attempting to change ingrained unconscious behaviours or beliefs and narratives we often feel as if we are consciously battling with the unconscious. We may have done the work on recognizing the go-to behviours programmed in childhood that we have been engaging in which are creating unwanted obstacles. We also may know that, although these behaviours feel natural to us, they are not who we are, they are simply who we have learned to be for survival. Consciously choosing and engaging in new and more favourable behaviours feels uncomfortable because it challenges those decisions made by the psyche long ago - that these behaviours will keep us safe.
Most of our previous publications here have included a 'try this' section. This is a part of the article that gives the reader a practical, accessilble way to utilize the information that we have discussed by way of a tool. We crystalize the information that we have shared and format it in such a way that it can be practised and woven into the reader's day. We have long enjoyed both creating and 'trying' out these tools for ourselves.
A recent conversation, with one of our regular readers however, revealed to us the need to question the language that we have been using.
Neurolinguistic Programming
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a psychological approach that examines how the mind, language, and go-to behavioral patterns (programming) are linked to create patterns of human behaviour.
History:
1970s: NLP was created by Richard Bandler, a computer scientist, and John Grinder, a linguist, at the University of California, Santa Cruz. They studied effective communicators and therapists like Milton Erickson (hypnosis), Virginia Satir (family therapy), and Fritz Perls (Gestalt therapy), crystalizing their techniques into a philosophy that could be modeled and taught.
1980s and Beyond: NLP gained popularity in self-help, coaching, therapy and sales. It has faced criticism for lacking scientific validation and although very popular and anecdotally effective, is sometimes regarded as a pseudoscience.
Applications
Therapy: Overcoming phobia, anxiety, and trauma through reframing and visualization.
Self Help: Building self esteem, breaking habits, and achieving goals.
Communication: Manipulation, persuasion, negotiation, and relationship building.
Business and Leadership: Improving team dynamics, conflict resolution, and productivity.
Performance Enhancement: Helping athletes, performers, and professionals focus and achieve success.
NLP is widely used in the field of hypnotherapy. When we are looking to address changes in ingrained behaviour such as breaking habits we use the word 'try' in a contradictory way. When we encourage the recipient to 'try' to do the very thing that they are attempting to give up - it often has the opposite effect. The use of the word 'try' suggests effort or struggle. It signals to my brain that I am going to have to overcome some kind of resistance to achieve my goal. For example, if I say that I will 'try' to lose weight, I instantly feel the negative body chemistry and resulting emotion that I might feel when I have to overcome the desire to eat. If however, I say that I 'will' lose weight, I create within myself feelings of success because I can visualize the positive future where I have achieved my goal.
When I say that I will 'try' something in the context of introducing a new behaviour or strategy, -for example, 'I will try regular meditation to reduce my stress levels,' I am giving myself an 'out.' However determined I am that I can implement something new to help myself - I am expressing an element of doubt that it will be successful. When I use this type of language I create within myself the emotion that I may feel if the experiment does not work for me - then I can fall into a victim state and remain stuck. If however, I substitute the word 'try' for the word 'explore' I will feel emotions that are more akin to the wonder of trying something new - and find that I can evaluate the effects of the practice without prejudgment or the expectation of failure.
Explore this:
Step into the shoes of your Observer Self.
This is the part of you that can witness the thoughts feelings and behaviours that yo are engaging in but it is not the part that is doing the thinking, feeling or doing.
You are not your thoughts, emotions or behaviours - you are the one who notices your thoughts, emotions and behaviours.
Set the intention to notice every time you use the word try.
The simple practice of observing is enough to begin with. It will allow you to notice how the word 'try' affects you in terms of thought patterns (what am I telling myself here?) emotions (how does this make me feel?) and behaviours (what am defaulting to as a go-to response?)
You can then move on to either substituting the word 'try' for another consciously chosen word of you choice or removing it completely .
We suggest, if you are using the word 'try' in they context of attempting to achieve something such as giving up a habit that you remove it. For example, 'I will try to lose weight' becomes 'I will lose weight.'
If you are using the word as a means to begin a new practice or 'try' something out, we suggest the word 'explore' as we have used in this 'newly branded' section of our blog.
Evalaute the practice. Check out the subtle changes in body chemistry that are experienced with the new way of framing each situation and if possible, compare them to how you felt before.
Set the intention to become more conscious of all of the language that you use towards the Self and others and the effect that it has upon you and as a consequence those around you.
These are the first steps to becoming fully conscious in your use of words and ultimately the effect that you have on your Self and the Universe that you are manifesting for yourself.
If you would like to train as a fully GHSC accredited Clinical Hypnotherapy Practitioner please see the link below or contact Chrissie on 07716219091 for a prospectus as training begins in March 2025:
For more insights and a host of tools and techniques for exploring the Self and improving your
human experience see our book:
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